if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
