how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
