You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
