What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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