and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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