sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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