Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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