Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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