I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i drank out of a bidet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
