there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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