Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
