I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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