she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
