This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have post one night stand depression
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