We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
