just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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