Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
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Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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