You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
