my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.