Christians are straight up FREAKS
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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