i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She bit a glass in half.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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