Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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  (336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx
  Replies (14) Good night (3932) Bad night (658)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (7089) Bad night (1359)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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  (320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid
  Replies (11) Good night (5639) Bad night (1385)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i really wish james franco would like my vagina

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  (540): i really wish james franco would like my vagina http://tfl.nu/g4mj
  Replies (25) Good night (5872) Bad night (1297)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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  (248): Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars http://tfl.nu/5z1n
  Replies (10) Good night (4997) Bad night (1134)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

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  (503): Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/acr2
  Replies (7) Good night (1794) Bad night (1043)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.

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  (662): We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower. http://tfl.nu/o5pz
  Replies (10) Good night (2233) Bad night (866)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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  (352): Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?! http://tfl.nu/wryd
  Replies (11) Good night (2493) Bad night (800)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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  (330): No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/d0l1
  Replies (3) Good night (2134) Bad night (766)
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  (619): View more from California

  By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (619): By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/je0g
  Replies (14) Good night (2564) Bad night (945)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.

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  (810): She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself. http://tfl.nu/zfk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1106) Bad night (2734)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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  (781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (386)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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  (914): I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have. http://tfl.nu/s46w
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (419)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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  (423): I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings. http://tfl.nu/2rp0
  Replies (5) Good night (1574) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

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  (734): I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths http://tfl.nu/fyxi
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (411)

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