You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
