I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
