That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
