doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
