It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
