Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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