im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
