you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
