She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
