She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.