How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.