I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.