I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills