After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear