my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender