Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
