i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize