We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
