You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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