You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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