so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
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Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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