Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i out mim tonsoeep
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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