it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
