Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
