What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
