He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize