is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
