is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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