I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
