Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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