I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
