Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
