I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
