thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just pee around me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
