I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
