so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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