If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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