your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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