i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
