How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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