this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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