is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
