You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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