Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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